Its so boring. Lol. And I think my teacher hates me. We totally like fought last week. And she kept calling me sam so I wore a shirt that said my name is sam, sam I am. And she wasn’t happy about it lol. But there was a lot of other stuff that went down before that event lol.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His bestfriend is a pussy. And his owner beats him. Lmfao!!

Some people asked me the other day if I wanted to go to Columbia College Chicago because of Jeff. And the answer is no. He had nothing to do with my wanting to go to school in Chicago. I’ve always wanted to go to a college in the city. And this school seems so perfect for me :) and besides me and Jeff aren’t talking right now. We got into another fight. Not really a surprise. I kinda saw this coming. So we aren’t talking. Idk if that’s a good thing or not. Everyone is saying that this is it. That I can not go back to him. And I agree. I really just need to not anymore. I know I’ve said that a lot of times before. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m not completely convinced with myself that I won’t go back to him. I really don’t want to. And I am going to try very hard not to. We’ll see what happens I guess.

So I went to a college fair my dad the other weekend and we looked at a bunch of colleges and I didn’t really see one that I liked. And my dad wasn’t a really big fan of the prices of the colleges we looked at. And we were on the last row and ready to go home when we say Columbia College Chicago. We looked at it and its like amazing haha. Its a wicked art school and photography is one their top majors :) and the price is wicked good. I’m not sure what it is exactly but like the cost for tuition and room and board was like less then most schools tuition alone. So my dad was all for that. And like the entire way home my dad was like “Chicago is an awesome city. You’d really like it. Its amazing. I had so much fun when I went.” And all this stuff so I think he really wants me to go to this school haha. I really like it and my mom said that this summer we can probably go to Chicago to check the school. I’m really happy that I actually have my sites set on a school. Like it sucked when a bunch of people would tell me where they wanted to go and had everything already planned out and I’d be like “yeah I don’t know where I wanna go or what I wanna do”. It feels good to have a plan now :)

i miss you :(

ew this sucks. haha. i’m so bored and theres nothing to do. i’ve been laying in bedd all day.

but how is everybody?

Was such a fast day. That’s one of the perks to this whole block scheduling thing. I get so used to the long 3 period days that when Friday comes all the other periods just seem to fly by :) and then the fire drill that wasn’t a drill during lunch was a great way to make the day go by faster too. Last period was like 20 minutes because they had to shorten 5th period. anyway. I talked to Jeff a little today idk if we’re gonna hang out anytime soon he’s so confusing. Right now I’m watching ‘Ghosts of Girlfriends Past’ in bedd. One of my like FAVORITE ways to spend my Friday nights. Haha I’m such a loser ;)

So I’m in psychology class right now and I’m bored like always but hey whatever. So Jeff came back on Friday and we hung out on Saturday which was funn. But like everything was different. Idk what it was but like the way he hugged me, the way he kissed me, the way he talked and acted. Just everything was different. And I’m not gonna lie. Its scaring me a little. He’s so depressed it seems like. He tried killing himself in California a little while before he came back to Rhode Island and that makes me so sad. He means a lot to me and I don’t want him to be sad. Idk what to do. I can’t talk to him. He can never have like a serious talk with me. I miss him. Even tho he’s back in RI I miss him. We’re only friends again. We had sex but he said “lovers tonight, friends forever” idk how I feel about that. I will always love him no matter what. But at the same time I don’t wanna date him. I don’t have time to date anyone and even if I did idk if I would date him. I’m so confused at this moment in time. Idk if me and him are talking because he’s so confusing and doesn’t answer my texts or calls. But then he texts me random shit that doesn’t make any sense. Ughhhh.

Its my birthday!!!!!

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